Happy Australia Day
By Y | January 27, 2014
Topics: Culture shock, Hmmm... | No Comments »
Friendships
By Y | January 27, 2014
It’s no secret that I’ve had a challenging time making friends since I’ve moved to Australia. A few people have told me it’s because Australian women find their friends in childhood and rarely accept new women into their social circle as adults. I’ve also been told that once the children were in school, it would get easier. On my own, I have discovered that yes quite possibly it’s hard for well established groups of friends to let outsiders in. That could be said for any group. And I’ve discovered that yes I know some mom/mum women in which we catch up occasionally. They’re nothing like the friendships I had in America. I didn’t know if this was an American vs. Australian difference or that I had become pickier in my friendships for some reason.
Well, a Facebook friend posted an article from The New York Times titled Friends of a Certain Age: Why is it hard to make friends over 30?. And now I know why it’s been a battle to have just a lazy afternoon in which nothing but everything was shared with a friend in Australia.
Because I moved in my 30s and I have children…2 major life events in one that changes your perspective about the world. I have gotten to the point that I have made of Kind of Friends rather than those marvelous friendships from my youth that I could pick up the phone and call them out of the blue and things would be dropped for that moment of shared connectedness.
And having said that, I have been guilty of it myself. I have been invited to many things but I didn’t go to because I had other commitments. In my 20s, I would have shuffled things around. Now unless it’s an amazing reason, I don’t. According to the article,
“You tend to focus on what is most emotionally important to you, so you’re not interested in going to that cocktail party, you’re interested in spending time with your kids.”
And there are times I have to hang out with people that I try so damn hard to like and for them to like me – that they were just people that I had hardly anything in common with – and I wondered why I would put in the effort for this particular person and not the person who really wanted to spend time with me.
ADDING children to the mix muddles things further. Suddenly, you are surrounded by a new circle of parent friends — but the emotional ties can be tenuous at best, as the comedian Louis C. K. related in one stand-up routine: “I spend whole days with people, I’m like, I never would have hung out with you, I didn’t choose you. Our children chose each other. Based on no criteria, by the way. They’re the same size.”
Priorities change when you’re in your 30s so your idea of friends change as well. I’m not alone. There are many others who are struggling to have friendships, whether in Australia or in America or wherever. I’m glad to know it’s not anything personal against me but that it is because of my personal choices. I know that I have to still work on keeping those meaningful relationships from my past going and I know I cannot be a hermit in Australia. I will have to expand my horizons without compromising what I hold dear. One day I (and some good friends) will find a clever and wonderful balance of new and old where the friendship will flow seamlessly. And then I will enter my 40s and things will change again and I will wonder what the hell happened to me.
Topics: Culture shock, Hmmm..., People to see, What the...? | 1 Comment »
Happy Holidays!
By Y | December 24, 2013
It’s December, and whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, or Festivus, I hope you have a great one and remember what it’s all about. Enjoying your own company whilst surrounded by weirdos or spending time with loved ones. Either/or.
Topics: Hmmm... | No Comments »
And not a creature was stirring
By Y | November 11, 2013
I was having coffee with a client today at a cafe and then everyone went quiet. I had a look around to see what had happened and then remembered it was the 11am on the 11/11. That’s great that so many people respect it.
Topics: Culture shock, Hmmm..., What the...? | No Comments »
Happy Halloween!
By Y | October 31, 2013
And for those who don’t celebrate Halloween, Happy Thursday!
Topics: Holiday | No Comments »
Everyone needs a special toy
By Y | October 12, 2013
I came across this from a local newspaper here the other day:
Return Flipper to its rightful owner!
I don’t know what’s more disturbing: that someone actually had the balls to steal a vibrator or that someone had the balls to put it in a police report. Either way, poor Flipper is out there buzzing away without its mistress, probably so lost and so very confused!
Topics: What the...? | 1 Comment »
Technical difficulties
By Y | September 12, 2013
When I went to write a post about my first time voting in Australia, I discovered the website had a virus. MJ got rid of it for me as I was ready to burn down the site and start again!
Anyway, now that we have new PM and the election is over I don’t have the energy to write about my voting experience. It was weird using a pen and paper to tick off my choice rather than using an electronic voting booth but I loved that I could go pretty much anywhere in our town and vote. I didn’t have to go to my local school to do it. I could have gone across town to do it if I felt so inclined.
There was a lot more I wanted to write but it’s late and I’m tired. Maybe I’ll come back another time to finish the post. I can say, though, that I’m glad the election is over. Let’s see what the new PM has in store for us.
Topics: Hmmm... | No Comments »
Tax time
By Y | August 27, 2013
It’s tax season in Australia now. The financial year is from July 1 to June 30 so now everyone is scurrying about getting their documents in order and hoping they don’t have to pay the tax man any more money. I just did mine. MJ and I, even though we’re married, file separately in Australia. That’s how you do it here. You don’t file Head of Household or Single or whatever the categories are in the US. You file individually here. They still want to know how much your significant other made but whatever he/she does on his/her tax returns doesn’t come into play with yours. Not sure if that’s good or not. I don’t care. I did my taxes for the country I live in, a few months after I did taxes for a country I don’t live in. I had hoped to claim the tax preparation fees of my American taxes on my Australian but my accountant just looked at me as if I had an extra head. Oh well, I tried.
Topics: Hmmm... | No Comments »
Kangaroos have 3 vaginas!
By Y | August 9, 2013
And they’re always pregnant! One joey in the pouch and another waiting to be born and enter the pouch. And you thought you had it bad, try being a female kangaroo! She will never know what is it like to use the bathroom without someone watching her.
Topics: Random Stuff, What the...? | No Comments »
Australian in America
By Y | August 6, 2013
I saw this article posted on Facebook and found it accurate and funny, except for the politics and guns. Never in all my years there did I hear someone bring up politics with a total stranger or in random conversation. I’ve encountered more people talking politics here than I ever had while living in the States. Also, I didn’t know anyone, other than my uncle who liked to hunt from on occasion and one person who lived in bear country, who owned guns. I know at least one person here who has guns and has an extreme gun fascination. I’m pretty sure I might know someone else who has a gun here but for some reason I’m drawing a blank and can’t think of that person’s name.
PS I’ll ignore the gibe about the Jersey Coastline because I haven’t been there for awhile and I don’t know what damage Hurricane Sandy did to it last year.
PPS And I so miss the diversity… and the drive thru banks. Why do I miss the drive thru banks? It’s not solely out of laziness but working 2 jobs plus having 2 kids with their own daily schedules and trying to fit in a quick, hassle free trip to the bank ends up being quite painful, especially on rainy and tantrumy days.
Topics: Homesick, NJ, Places to go, USA, What the...? | No Comments »
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